Stuff I've Learned

The other day I got the opportunity to chat with a friend for the first time in about eight months. She asked how I was doing and I basically told her that I am more stressed out than I’ve ever been. Also: I’m happy, I’m sad, I’m elated, I’m anxious, I’ve learned more than I ever thought was possible in a year, I’m completely exhausted, and I’ve gained…like…40 pounds. That’ll teach her (and hopefully you). Anyway, it’s been a super whirlwind year. Here’s some stuff I’ve learned:

1. I have the best friends and a supportive family and incredible professors and I’ve chosen the best career in the whole world.
I’m lucky.


2. Car insurance is way better than medical insurance.
Trust me on this one. I crashed my car into another guy’s car the other day and now I have a bump on my head. One of these things is getting fixed. The other is too costly.

Medical Insurance = The Worst
Car Insurance = Not So Bad


3. People really don’t like shared kitchen space.
School and internship have led me to a lot of shared kitchens this year. If you don’t know, I’m here to tell you: people get hostile when you’re around their food, making messes near their food and/or stealing their food. Walk into any shared kitchen space and: BOOM: hostile notes. Tell me you’ve never seen a passive-aggressive-shared-microwave-note and I’ll ask you to lead me to your Workplace Utopia.

Among the hostile notes: untrusting people. Last week someone ate my friend’s pizza out of a shared refrigerator. This was super confusing to me because I could never steal someone's fridge pizza. Not because I don't love pizza or I'm some sort of saint but because I always feel like I’m about to get caught red-handed – even when I’m doing something totally innocuous. Like... I’m about to get caught for something I did but didn’t know I did and now I’m going to spend THE REST OF MY LIFE paying for it. Let’s call it Catholic guilt and call it a day.

But back to the pizza. That deserves 5th Circle of Hell punishment. Did the person sneak in after hours for a tasty treat? Did they heat the pizza in the shared microwave counting down the seconds? Looking over their shoulder at the shared space? Fearful of someone walking through the shared door? Some questions can’t be answered so I bought my friend tots in the cafeteria while some happy employee walked around with a belly full of artisan pizza. At this point we should probably just outlaw shared kitchens, right?


4. People really don’t like gays.
Yeah. I get it. Being gay is…like…super bad. As bad as murder or adultery. The world has never seen a more formidable nemesis than the purple Teletubby. You think that the gays are about to take over and make everyone gay adopt and gay marry and listen to Melissa Etheridge while getting trendy haircuts. Those things probably won’t happen, but I’m not psychic so I’m really not too sure.


5. Lots of other stuff that is really interesting to me but probably pretty boring to you.
Don’t worry. I’ll bother you about these things in person.


I should also add to the list that I don't know how to fix the formatting on this site and for that I feel really sorry. I guess that’s all for now. I’d like to say these entries will get better but I certainly can’t make any promises.